Бъзици за теоретици

[Steppenwolf]

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

 

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

 

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.

 

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

 

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

 

 

____

 

Скоро не се бях усмихвал така искрено и широко на шега, но насериозно.

[Vasil Pavlov]

Супер готина заигравка с думите

Ето за такива игри на думи Английският ВИНАГИ бие нашия роден език...

[fusion]

Но със сигурност не е измислено от американец

 

Тогава до осъзнало, че е под a-rest

[Aquarelle]

Наистина се посмях от сърце

 

Много сладък каламбур

[Icarus]

Изключително яко е тва

[daniel.hristov]

[Steppenwolf]

Q: Why did the 5th leave the army?

 

A: he knew he would never be a Major

 

* * *

 

The new 'Theory Of Relativity':

 

E = Fb

[sasoh]

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.

-----

Lute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.

-----

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

-----

How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?

Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.

-----

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?

Give him some sheet music.

-----

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one.

-----

What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?

Counterpoint.

 

[fusion]

Само дето почти всички от горния пост можеха да се преведат успешно на български

 

Това за кънтри певците с крушката Ама това за барабанистите - не :/ Може би за металите, седнали зад барабани - да. Не, не го приемам насериозно, просто изказвам мнение по заобиколен начин

[sasoh]

http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/

 

Ето откъде ги взех, има още добри. Не съм ги превеждал, защото много щяха да се смесят. А и който знае какво е контрапункт, ще знае и как е на английски

[Steppenwolf]

Който познава поне част от следните композитори, ще се посмее от сърце на този каламбур...

 

=======

 

Beyond the Mozart effect

You've heard of the Mozart Effect, BUT, have you heard of the ...

 

LISZT EFFECT: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says

anything important.

 

BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently.

Gains reputation for profundity.

 

WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his

sister.

 

MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that

he's dying.

 

SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other

words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop

listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.

 

BABBITT EFFECT: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually, people stop

listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his playmates think he's

cool.

 

IVES EFFECT: the child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several

separate conversations at once.

 

GLASS EFFECT: the child tends to repeat himself over and over and over and

over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

and over again.

 

STRAVINSKY EFFECT: the child is prone to savage, guttural and profane

outbursts that often lead to fighting and pandemonium in the preschool.

 

BRAHMS EFFECT: the child is able to speak beautifully as long as his

sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12, etc). However, his

sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely uninspired.

 

AND THEN OF COURSE, THE CAGE EFFECT -- CHILD SAYS NOTHING FOR 4 MINUTES, 33

SECONDS. PREFERRED BY 9 OUT OF 10 CLASSROOM TEACHERS.

 

 

NEW:

HANDEL effect: The child holds vowels indefinitely so that you can't even

remember what word they began with, but is usually so sweet-tempered that it

doesn't matter what s/he's saying

[Ивелин]

хаха - тва за Шонберг и Вагнер бяха много яки

 

- Как е сътворена 1-вата фуга?

- 2 виоли свирели в унисон...

Редактирано Ноември 6, 2009 от Ивелин

[Vlad]

 

Как да накараме виолист да свири пианисимо тремоландо?

 

Пишем на щима му "СОЛО":hysterical: