Steppenwolf Публикувано Април 3, 2009 Публикувано Април 3, 2009 C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. ____ Скоро не се бях усмихвал така искрено и широко на шега, но насериозно. Цитирай
Vasil Pavlov Отговорено Април 3, 2009 Отговорено Април 3, 2009 Супер готина заигравка с думите Ето за такива игри на думи Английският ВИНАГИ бие нашия роден език... Цитирай
fusion Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Но със сигурност не е измислено от американец Тогава до осъзнало, че е под a-rest Цитирай
Aquarelle Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Наистина се посмях от сърце Много сладък каламбур Цитирай
Steppenwolf Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Автор Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Q: Why did the 5th leave the army? A: he knew he would never be a Major * * * The new 'Theory Of Relativity': E = Fb Цитирай
sasoh Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Отговорено Април 10, 2009 What's the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger. ----- Lute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune. ----- What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major. ----- How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando? Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm. ----- How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Give him some sheet music. ----- How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one. ----- What do you call two guitarists playing in unison? Counterpoint. Цитирай
fusion Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Само дето почти всички от горния пост можеха да се преведат успешно на български Това за кънтри певците с крушката Ама това за барабанистите - не :/ Може би за металите, седнали зад барабани - да. Не, не го приемам насериозно, просто изказвам мнение по заобиколен начин Цитирай
sasoh Отговорено Април 10, 2009 Отговорено Април 10, 2009 http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/ Ето откъде ги взех, има още добри. Не съм ги превеждал, защото много щяха да се смесят. А и който знае какво е контрапункт, ще знае и как е на английски Цитирай
Steppenwolf Отговорено Ноември 5, 2009 Автор Отговорено Ноември 5, 2009 Който познава поне част от следните композитори, ще се посмее от сърце на този каламбур... ======= Beyond the Mozart effect You've heard of the Mozart Effect, BUT, have you heard of the ... LISZT EFFECT: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important. BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains reputation for profundity. WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister. MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that he's dying. SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him. BABBITT EFFECT: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his playmates think he's cool. IVES EFFECT: the child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations at once. GLASS EFFECT: the child tends to repeat himself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. STRAVINSKY EFFECT: the child is prone to savage, guttural and profane outbursts that often lead to fighting and pandemonium in the preschool. BRAHMS EFFECT: the child is able to speak beautifully as long as his sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12, etc). However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely uninspired. AND THEN OF COURSE, THE CAGE EFFECT -- CHILD SAYS NOTHING FOR 4 MINUTES, 33 SECONDS. PREFERRED BY 9 OUT OF 10 CLASSROOM TEACHERS. NEW: HANDEL effect: The child holds vowels indefinitely so that you can't even remember what word they began with, but is usually so sweet-tempered that it doesn't matter what s/he's saying Цитирай
Ивелин Отговорено Ноември 6, 2009 Отговорено Ноември 6, 2009 (Редактирано) хаха - тва за Шонберг и Вагнер бяха много яки - Как е сътворена 1-вата фуга? - 2 виоли свирели в унисон... Редактирано Ноември 6, 2009 от Ивелин Цитирай
Vlad Отговорено Ноември 6, 2009 Отговорено Ноември 6, 2009 Как да накараме виолист да свири пианисимо тремоландо? Пишем на щима му "СОЛО":hysterical: Цитирай
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