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Lord Shredulous

Намерих си старите глупости

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Писани са, така да се изразя, for teh lulz. Сутринта си ги намерих и ми стана едно драго. :D

 

The Bear Trap

 

Once upon a midnight snack

while I was eating from the fridge

I got caught in a trap

set by my wife, the bitch.

 

T'was a bear trap and it hurt like hell

and I dropped my midnight snack

I slipped and tripped and fell

on my sandwich, on my back.

 

I stained my pants with mustard,

bacon wedged beneath my ass

like a sticky, greasy bastard

stuck in a bear trap's grasp.

 

I was lying there for hours

in the bear trap like a fool

without having any powers

to wake the kids for school.

 

***

 

Pride

 

Some take pride since they were born,

others until the day they die,

few are proud with mocking scorn,

but I really don't know why.

 

What's so cool about taking pride?

And showing off you're full of dough?

So the neighborhood that you abide

will want you dead, once and for all!

 

But I don't need that much cash,

I earn my own by dealing drugs,

I hide it in my private stash,

to keep it safe from thieves and thugs.

 

A kingpin I have become,

but I don't take pride in what I've done!

 

***

 

Beauty

 

Her eyes I can compare to tennis balls,

her chapped lips appall me when she smiles,

without a bra her boobs will fall

and reveal her titties, oh so vile.

 

Her face looks like her butt

with two cheeks, but no crack,

maybe if I keep my eyes shut

then her face I could fuck.

 

Hairs cover not just her head,

but also her legs and chest

She looks as if she's inbred,

because she's different from all the rest.

 

Call me a pervert, but I am in love!

This old crow is my prairie dove!

 

***

 

Love

 

I'm not a poet and I never will be.

I can't praise you in any way.

All I got is my love for thee,

that grows stronger, day by day. (I just have nothing nice to say)

 

You were young and hot,

I just had to get you drunk!

I gave you whiskey and some pot

and then I fucked you on the trunk.

 

Oh the trunk! Oh the glory!

I was horny like a pig!

But while we fucked behind the lorry

I noticed that you wear... a wig.

Why did this happen, why?

My love turned out to be... a guy.

 

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:surprise::hysterical: \м/
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Писани са, така да се изразя, for teh lulz. Сутринта си ги намерих и ми стана едно драго. :D

 

Call me a pervert, but I am in love!

This old crow is my prairie dove!

 

...

 

Why did this happen, why?

My love turned out to be... a guy.

 

 

:lol:

 

Идеалният завършек за стихотворенията.

Edited by Flame

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Имал си яко тийн-ство :greenangel: И аз имам доста подобни от онези тийн гадинки :cheers: , разбирам те много точно за некои неща, мерси, че ми върна некви спомени, брадър :cheers2:

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Последните 3 бяха домашно по английска литература да "пренапишем" сонетите на Шекспир със същите имена. :D

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Намерих още едно.:D

 

Кому е нужен този дЕн

---------слънчев, празЕн,

-----------------и омразЕн?

--ставам аз рано, на Балкона отивам

---------през прозорецА

--------------------------гЛедам към двора,

 

------------а в устата Си

---------------слюнка сЪбирам

---------------без да поМисля

 

-----------------------гнеВно я пращам

--------долу, по седящИте хора.

 

------------------------заМислен аз на перваза седя

-----------------------с пАкетче семки в ръка

------------------и люпеЙки плюя аз долу

----от шлюпки и плюнКи

------------------------грАд!

-------------------------а Те

-----------------поглеждАт

 

--------------------------нО аз се не крия,

-------------а кротко сеМките оставям

---------------------на пеРваза.

-----------от третия етАж

-------реших аз да сляЗа,

---------------------------Но със скок, за да смажа

--------------------------нА някоя лелка главата

----------------------------!

 

Кой както иска да си го чете.

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Едно кратко излияние за една кукувица

 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Vaccum sucks

And so do you

 

I'd gladly dissect you

If I was a surgeon

'Cause you look like a hooker

But act like a virgin

 

I may've liked your smile

But I now hate your soul

There's a lot more to come

But for now, that is all

 

Ще споделя с вас реакцията тази вечер. :D

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Хахахах евалата! :coolp: Бяха много забавни всите подобни словоизлияния в гимназията :)

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